My husband is too strict. How can I get him to be kinder?



I think my husband is too strict with our little boy who is 7 since last month. Every time I try to address it with him, we just end up in a big fight and he says that I spoil our son and nothing changes. How can I get him to be kinder?

Conflicts about parenting styles and approaches to rearing our children are commonplace in many families. It can be a huge adjustment for any of us to align our views about parenting with our partners, because we may have had very different experiences, growing up.

The conflicts we have about parenting, may also simply be representative of other deeper conflicts that we have which, in fact, reflect core differences in values or beliefs. The way we approach parenting may just be highlighting these issues.

That said, I think your task is not to make your husband kinder. Rather it is to find some common ground, between you, that you can then use as a launching pad for dealing with other, more tricky issues that currently divide you.

Sometimes we need outside help and another perspective to be able to resolve our differences. A ‘neutral’ third party can sometimes point us in the direction of compromise that we both can live with. You and your husband might benefit from some advice and guidance to help you each see the other’s perspectives and realise that you share a love for your son and a desire to give him the best opportunities growing up. You just need to find a shared way to achieve that.