I’m worried that lockdown is making my daughter depressed



I’m worried about my 14-year-old girl who used to be really sociable before this whole lockdown, and loved being with her friends and is missing them terribly. She has completely closed herself off in her room and only comes out for meals. I wonder if she’s depressed? Have you any advice?

Your daughter does sound like she is struggling to cope with the social restrictions. It may be that she doesn’t feel that snapping, texting or even video-calling is working for her.

The most important thing that you can do is to empathise with the situation that you see her in. Comment on how hard it must be not seeing her friends and show her that you can understand how upset she may feel. Try not to offer unsolicited advice; it is rarely welcomed!

However, if she does ask what she might do, then you can encourage her to video-call her friends, but rather than simply video-calling to chat, she might like to consider doing some shared activity via a video-call, so that might include playing a game, doing make-up, drawing and so on. Having a shared task makes the call more engaging and it may feel closer to her normal way of being with her friends.

Many psychologists and other therapists are offering video-based consultations. While that might be difficult for your daughter to engage with, it might be something helpful for you to consider getting some more ideas to help her, especially if you feel she is getting more stuck or depressed.