I’m trying to work from home and it is just a nightmare with my three children. They are constantly dragging out of me and I know I am responding crossly which isn’t helping. My husband at least gets to leave the house for his work and he doesn’t seem to get it when I tell him how hard it is to balance everything while he’s gone.
It is very difficult to manage the competing needs of our work and looking after our children. Both parents working fulltime was probably already stressful before Covid-19.
It sounds like you and your husband need to have more discussions about the way things are currently functioning in your home. You need further opportunities to outline your concerns and the difficulties you face, so that he realises how critical the situation is becoming. Using the benchmark of both of your paid employments being equally valuable, you need to work together to come up with some solutions to the issues you face.
It may be that you and your husband both have to consider working shorter days, such that things can be more balanced and more shared between you, with one or other of you always available to meet the childcare responsibilities. Similarly, the other household tasks of cooking, shopping, cleaning and so on also need to be shared equally.
I think a fairer rebalancing of the work/childcare roles will take pressure off you and may allow your family to function better.